1. |
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Bring out the Elves and elvis
Lets sing with Frank and bing
Time for some Nog and whiskey
Tis the Season for You and me
I always think of you
no matter how far we're apart
it's always Christmas in my heart
Each year we trim the tree to say i need you
Turn on the lights to say I believe in you
Each decoration somehow says
When it gets cold we’re closer yet
solo
yuletide carols baby singing deck the halls (la la
go head put this tinself all over the walls
all our stockings are hung and were building gingerbread
babe I see that mistletoe just above your head
chorus
bridge
outro
chorus x2
outro
chorus x2 and fade
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2. |
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Frosty is melting | he wont be coming back
Santa is worn out | he works just once then naps
Christmastime is gone away
everything’s half price on display
if its just a holiday
it’s Christmas that I want
interlude
I’ve heard this song ten times today | drummer boy can go away
if you work retail | you’re just about to snap
pour out some eggnog | and have a merry drink
these songs are all worn out | except for the kinks
you can only eat so many candy canes
before they all get thrown away
its not the expiration date
it’s christmas that I want
interlude
the new years list | to resolve
same old problems| I wont solve
put down the pack | and call my mom
lose that weight | then it comes back on
the season’s short | but life is long
its Christmas x4
its christmas that I want
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3. |
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Intro
The Don’t Make me go to Church
They Don’t Wake me up before lunch
There’s Baileys in the coffee Pot
I’ll be drunk before we draw names
Santa bring all eight reindeer
I like Christmas more this year
Eggnog Spiked with Everclear
I like Christmas more this year
Intro
Even if the gift is a joke
Shake the box, Hey! this one sounds broke
Let’s get to it, Open the box
but Inside… It’s another box (in a box, in a box, in a box…)
Santa bring all eight reindeer
I like Christmas more this year
Eggnog Spiked with Everclear
I like Christmas more this year
Santa Checks the Naughty List
But I’m on the Party List
Tis’ the season to forgive
Hey Santa… Check this!
No Coal, Only Kohl’s Giftcards x4
Santa bring all eight reindeer
I like Christmas more this year
Eggnog Spiked with Everclear
I like Christmas more this year
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4. |
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intro talk:
hey, merry christmas mike
hey rob merry christmas i guess
whats wrong man?
well my christmas plans didnt work out this year
ha. so did you ask out Vanessa
yeah, she wont be meeting me under the mistletoe soon. what about you and Sophia?
I’m not on her Christmas list.
Too bad
this is just not my season.
I’m tired of Christmas!
Twas the end of the year
when you turned my heartbeat around
Ice skating with a hot chocolate
your smile lit up the whole damn town
now I’m tired of Christmas
Is that so wrong?
I’m tired of Christmas
Don’t feel like singing the same 10 songs
pit stop to turn our snow angel
into a slushie mess
catching up with the mall santa
making sure he had the wrong address
chorus
I dont need 12 whole days
to show you how I feel
you gave me the nutcracker
when my chestnuts were starting to heal
and I saw all the signs but kept giving
the things you liked were not from me
so I learned to forget us this christmas
chorus
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5. |
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Something very strange has happened this holiday season
We made Santa mad and that special day keeps repeating
All our presents went back in their boxes
Our parents say it's Christmas morning
It's December 25th...again
The same old presents
underneath the tree
That one dad joke dad keeps repeating
What happens if you eat a Christmas decoration?
You get tinselitits
Oh we’re stuck in a time loop Christmas
Oh we’re stuck in a time loop Christmas
R- not sure what made the magic man mad.
I only asked for five more presents than last year
Z- I only asked for better presents than he’s got
What’s so wrong about that?
ch
I ran out of content on the internet
havent learned my lesson but I might still yet
something bout forgiveness and family time
it's just another day its day 99
ch
Bridge
Only so many times we can play charades
We’ll never get to see a Thanksgiving parade
We’d never wish for Christmas every day
R- eventually i realised christmas wasnt just about me
brought my presents down the street
gave them to the kids in need
Z- I learned something that I couldn’t believe
Those kids…were jealous of me
It’s better to give than to receive
Oh we’re out of the time loop Christmas
Oh we’re back to a normal Christmas
Z - Learned our lesson this chrismas
R - Roll down the credits this christmas
Z - Sorry santa for the long wishlist
R - Santa dont worry we’ll forgive this
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6. |
i think we killed santa
02:52
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merry christmas ho ho ho. A cookie for me? Green cookies? You don’t see that everyday. *crash* *choking*
Brother heard some noise so we crept out
Thinking it was santa we had found
He needs to know that we believe to get our presents on christmas eve
A bite of cookie we set out
It's expired without a doubt
A creature stirred it made a sound
When santa’s body hit the ground
I think we killed santa
He's not dead he’s probably sick
I think we killed santa
Poked him with a peppermint stick
I think we killed santa
His eyes are closed and he smells like piss
I'll grab his arms, you grab his legs
We don’t succeed, christmas is dead
Threw dad’s shades on old nicks face
It’s his life we have to save
Drag him in to santa’s sleigh
Looks like we are on our way
Brother, can you drive?
He says "I don’t know"
We find a knob called cruise control
Chorus
*Whistle break*
He drives us straight to the north pole
Its really dark and its really cold
We look out front, front of the sleigh
Hundred elves with lights make the runway
Rudolf swerves hard to the side
Into the factory we collide
Look to the left the elves escape
Look to my right santas awake
We didn’t kill santa
He wasn’t dead it was just a trick
We didn’t kill santa
He stabbed us with a peppermint stick
We didn’t kill santa
Forever on the naughty list
We didn’t kill santa
His eyes are open and he’s really pissed
Santa: ho ho ho you boys have been extra naughty this year. An extra piece of coal for all of you.
and that's when we realized
the true meaning of christmas
was with us all along.
we should have killed santa
now we work for him
ho ho ho ho what are you little elves doing down here? Get back to work! Hoho My special elves...
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Lucky Halfspeed Nashville, Tennessee
We're out here having a lot of fun. Comedy, music, and movies from a group of friends primarily in Nashville TN.
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